The Final Wait: Emotional Dump

Back in 2005, I think I was a blogger. Today, well, I occasionally finally edit or post; or I just hit send and give up on spelling and grammar check. And I've been irritated at myself for missing so many fun things. I am using my FB & Instagram account as my journal for our milestones. However, here are some basic updates.

Our Article 5 was picked up on January 30th. That means our final formal form was stamped and approved in Gu***hou and sent to the C****A in Bei%%g. I think that was a fancy step because it was hand delivered by over night courier. I also love that my paperwork was in the same envelope as our friends, the Rylands,  and their paperwork for their two boys.

So, once, the A5 and the rest of our paperwork was sent to the C***A in Beijing. We are just waiting on Travel Approval. Our agency will get this in the mail and call us.

So, then what? Glad you asked.

We will then scramble and call the family who is donating their bazillion frequent flyer miles and points and ask them if there are any conflict fly dates for the next 3-4 weeks. We'll probably put a flight on hold at that time. Then we'll quickly request a Consulate Appointment with the Consulate in Gua***ou. They'll approve our CA appointment (takes about 24 hours). We'll call back to the family giving us the miles; book our flight; and cry and scream. In the middle of that, I will send a flurry of text messages and probably half of Mount Pleasant all the way to the Battery will hear me. They might even think it's another Revolution.

I'd also like you to know that my hair stylist and friend, Heather, will be getting one of those first text messages. What?! Vanity you say? After all this fundraising, and pleading for the cause of the orphan, etc, I'm going to get my hair done. You bet your bottom dollar. I am not about to meet my daughter with 80s prom hair and roots 4" long. Priorities, People!

Then, we'll get on the phone to schedule the rest of our trip/coordinating flights from BJ to GZ and all that jazz. Then, I will start freaking out over all the things I should've have been doing when I was hitting "refresh" on my phone and email.

And I'll make my Mom & Dad a 16 page list of notes on the boys. And I'll sing our final Power of Attorney, Will, etc. Pack our bags, finish shopping, and hop a plane with my husband! 

So, we are only on day 7 of our wait. And everyday, I have to admit, I'm obsessively watching all 4 of my Ch*** FB Groups. Every time someone posts a TA, I study the agency name, and how long they waited. Today marks Day 7 for us. Today is the first day that we could MAYBE get a call. I know this because our agency got a batch of TAs last Friday.

The catch is that Ch(((se New Year is next week. So the C****A is closed til the 18th. And then the Consulate is closed on the 18th because they celebrate US holidays. Seriously, that is the gig to have? You celebrate in-country holidays & the country you represent. Genius! 

So, back to what I was saying. We could get our TA as late as Feb 12th if they mail them Feb 8th (and if we are in that batch). And then the Consulate would be open the 13th -15th (Ch**a) days, so really only the 14th & 15th here (8 hours a head over there, I think).

So, that's what I'm totally NOT obsessing over. Sigh.

In other news, we had an amazing shower for Meili Joy on Monday night at my Mom's house. She preached a little adoption theology and hosted with some of my best girls. I appreciated every person who was there and who has walked this journey with us. We wrote names on the blocks from Meili Joy's block party,  and we wrote notes for CNYear on special envelopes (Mrs. Gregory, you are brilliant!). Cherry blossoms were everywhere! My first pink shower! All of our gifts for her are so special. Adorable clothes, bows, leggings, shoes, dresses and art work and custom clothing, just so very special! And a special skinny car seat for her (since she's only 22 lbs) that we can fit 3 across our backseat! 
(Here are the boys sitting in it to the right.)


My favorite moments was to sit in the middle of these wonderful women, I honestly almost fell over, just from the emotion of all the women who prayed for me, Travis, our family, my parents as they keep the boys, MJ's TOF heart condition, etc. I am carrying those prayers of the Saints with me.

Thank you, ALL! Your Thank you cards are coming w/ our Meili Joy is home announcements! Um, yes, it'll be our 2011/2012 Christmas Card/Thank you Card/ Announcement Card! 


I know that my Father loves me even more than I love our Meili Joy. And I know he knows every detail. I can't explain, though, how absolutely difficult this is to just wait and know we can go at anytime. I totally am claiming 9 month adoption/preggo hormones! I just want to get to my Baby. Again, totally a paradox. I believe that God knows exactly when we'll go and has drawn out each step, and I'm also letting myself be super eager to leave NOW! In the midst of this, it's been so much fun to soak up our boys. Stand and watch them. Stare at our family of 4. Big transition ahead. We've been an "all boy" family for 6 years! Every time a family grows, there are changes, ebbing and flow.

But, the wait.is.really.painful. Almost physically. I had no idea that it would hurt this much. The anticipation. Our little girl leaving her foster family. Thinking of them and the empty home they will return to. Oh, Jesus, please let them come to the orphanage the day we visit. We hope they come. We want to hug them. It'll hurt, oh, boy, will it hurt. And our baby girl might not want us when she sees them; but, Jesus knows we hope to see them!

I also have not blogged about this; but I absolutely can not stop thinking about our I800 approval that says "Petition to classify orphan as immediate relative". Oh, wow! Seriously! Do you not see the parallel? "Petition" granted- Jesus on the Cross- "to classify orphan"- oh, y'all know by now we were slaves, orphans, lost, etc! Then "as immediate relative". Yup. To the KING! Y'all to the King of the Universe! Not the President of America or anywhere else. THE King. My Jesus. Oh, it's so overwhelming! You see what I'm doing here. Preaching the gospel to myself. Preaching it so I can hold on and not grow wear or sad or tired. That's our Hope. That's our Joy.

(And there is also a photo of how Rockstar my agency is above, too.)

Dear Meili Joy,
We are coming. Your brothers are talking about your daily. Austin said he isn't even going to miss us. Your brother, Justus, says "pray" every night before we go to bed and says "Mei-Joy home". Your Daddy is working his tail off, so he can take time off and orders can keep rolling in; and your Mom. Well, she's a hot mess obsessed with holding her cell phone for the call and refreshing her internet feed for a hint of a "TA" batch coming. And she's sad for you foster family, and she's sad for you. And she knows you may not think she's that great at first. Hey, your brothers don't always think I'm a rockstar either!

We are fully embracing our absolutely crazy-selves and just going to love you with full hearts. They say "Go Big, or Go Home!" Yup, that's what we are doing! And we are so excited. And we may be a little scarey at first; but we love Jesus and we know that He'll shine through. And in our imperfection and weakness, He'll be our strength, hope and love as you join us!

We love you, 
Mommy, Daddy, Austin & Justus

LOA to Cable

So, all my intentions of blogging all of this, have been great. But, have not happened. I have totally relied on Instagram and Facebook for my posts and documenting. Paperwork is moving quickly, and yet, still feels like we hurry up and wait.
 
The last week has been a praying for paperwork to just move week. The two slow periods with our adoption that I struggled with was the wait for our homestudy to be approved, when it sat in the mail room for about a month in Columbia; and the wait for our I800 approval to get from KS to NH, that took 10 days. Obviously, when we were waiting for MJ's referral, it was hard. But, it was different, I understood better that wait and knew God was choosing our child for us. I've got to admit, I've got to work on my patience on the US side. And it's super hard when it's simple timing of just mailing a piece of paper, etc.

Here was our time frame:
12/17 LOA was approved
12/18 800 was submitted the
12/21 800 was received 
1/4     800 approved
1/8     800 mailed out of MS 1/8 to NH
1/11   800 recieved in NH
1/14   Told it's not in the system, to wait 2 weeks, no GUZ # yet (2 phone calls, 5 emails)
1/14   Didn't know it; but it was processed and sent to Embassy in GZ
1/15   Emails sent in AM, called at 5:30 pm, got GUZ# & found out paperwork went to Embassy 1/14
          10:35 received PDF of approval in email (Travis' email)*
1/16   Cabled (China's 1/16, our 1/15 pm) meaning the rest of our paperwork was sent to our agency in GZ

Links:
Here are some links that really help explain all the craziness of the paperwork from LOA (Letter of Approval) to TA (Travel Approval), for anyone who is interested.


LOA:
http://www.china-adoption-online.com/letter-of-acceptance.html


I800:
http://www.china-adoption-online.com/uscis-forms-I800.html

*NVC/Cable:
http://www.china-adoption-online.com/letter-of-acceptance.html

Since the approval happens, and then is snail mailed, my agency needed a PDF copy of the approval.
They don't automatically give you a PDF emailed copy. You have to request it, So, I called and emailed to request it. On Monday, they told me that it'd take up to two weeks and it wasn't ready. But, when I called back yesterday, they told me that my paperwork had been sent to the Embassy on Monday. See how crazy that feels? And I had to call three times in 2 hours because every time I called the full request for a PDF wasn't being submitted.

By the way, I'm calling the National Visa Center at this point, in the US. Not anyone in Ch**a and asking for them to give me a GUZ #.

Once I had it,I realized I needed to be very specific: "Will you please put in  a request for a PDF to be emailed to me, and the email on that account." And then, I needed to say, "So, the official request for the PDF is in the system? Okay, thank you very much." The first time, I got the GUZ#. I don't know why I didn't just ask for the request. The 2nd time, I called they said that the PDF would come. I realized after I hung up that didn't mean that the request was in. So, I called back to confirm the request had actually been submitted, and they said they need a supervisor. I realized he didn't know much about adoption. So, I called back 5 minutes later and got someone else who said he would confirm that request was in. I got the PDF about 20 minutes later. I don't know what worked, the call or the emails.

I also did request it by email using the details from China Adoption on how to request it. At first I used the SIM#, then once I asked for the GUZ#, I used that.
GUZ#, Travis' Name, DOB, Meili Joy's official name, DOB, and who I was on the case, etc.


And here is where we are in the process now, this from China Adoption Online says, and I'm quoting them here; but I added the "**".


"After you have received I-800 Approval and have been cabled (and gotten the NVC letter), it's time for your Article 5 letter to be issued by the US Embassy. This is a step that you don't have to really DO anything about, but it is helpful to know what is going on. 

Once you have emailed your NVC letter to your agency, they will forward it to their in-Ch**a representative.

The in-Ch**a rep will take the NVC letter to the US Embassy in Guangzhou along with your DS-230 application and Parental LOA. The US Embassy only allows representatives to drop off the paperwork on certain days."


"The consulate needs to review your new child's visa application (the DS-230), make sure it meets the qualifications for an immigrant visa, and then signs off that everything is in order for the adoption to be completed. This is called the Article 5 letter. You cannot obtain custody of your child until the Article 5 letter is issued!
The consulate takes a standard two weeks to complete this process. If your paperwork is dropped off on a Monday, it will be picked up from the consulate by your agency rep two Mondays later.
Once it's picked up from the consulate, it will be delivered directly to the CCAA for Travel Approval! "

And that is all done now. I also forwarded the email to my agency at 10:35 last night, and posted in our Lifeline group that I had sent it. Three minutes later, our Ch**a director told me they had forwarded the document to our agency rep in Ch**a. Seriously, they are amazing!

It's kind of nice now, because there is no calling or emailing today. I seem to do well when I can't do anything. But, get all crazy when there is something that is my responsibility, or seems like mine, to get her home. Back to soaking up our time as a family of 4, reading over packing lists, finishing her room, etc. I'll have another more uplifting post to come tomorrow.  Hoping this helps others who come behind us.

Prayer Requests: These are super specific, and our church is in a series on specific prayer requests, so I'm going for it!

My very specific prayer request if for a miracle for TA to still come in time for us to leave my birthday week (ideally leave Feb 22). I know it's more like March 1st right now; but either way, just hopeful.

Second specific request, a Tuesday Consulate appointment. It would really help with our donated airline mile and that maybe a flight on AA would open up from GZ to the US without a trip back to BJ. 

Our third, that I could find a set of Dinio (formerly Sunshine) car seats (two for 2 year olds) and 1 booster bottom for Austin on Craig's list. They aren't very common and I think will fit in one row for our car.  Hey, at least, I'm not asking for a used Lexus SUV with a third row or Honda Odessey minivan to show up....I mean, really!

(And now that I've been interrupted 15 times trying to just read over this, I realize why I never blog. I can't proof things with my kiddos awake!)

Give1Save1 Week!

Well, I know my blog is long over due for an update, and I promise one is coming. In fact, I plan to over blog in the next 2 weeks. But, in the mean time, I wanted to share about our friends Angie & Tom Rylands and their adoption journey back to Asia for two more, yep, two more older children!

Tom, Colin, Tommy, Cameron & Angie

I met Angie when she and her husband, Tom, were in the process of adopting Colin and Cameron, two of her (currently) three boys. They were "aging out of the system", and she was racing the clock for both of them because of their age (on paper) stated that they were almost 14. This would mean they are no longer guaranteed a home in the orphanage and no longer adoptable. But, by God's grace, they got the boys home in time.

 

The Rylands boys are in USA shirts

I only knew Angie via email and facebook, until the beginning of last year. But, I followed her journey and her friends journeys, and they welcomed me with open arms into the Ch**a adoption community as we began our journey to Meili Joy. When we finally met in person, it was as if we'd known each other for years. Bottom line, this family gets it. Their hearts are committed not just to their family, but to 100's of adopting families and children and bringing glory to God through it all.In fact, Angie has taken a job as the SC State Director for our agency, Lifeline (and y'all know how much I love Lifeline!).  Angie and Tom have been incredible blessings in the Carpenter family's life this year. God even moved them into our neighborhood which means we get a chance to see them a little more often. Justus especially adores Colin, and often asks to "I see Colin?"

Connor Rylands

Last spring and this summer, God called their family back for 2 more boys. I remember in April, we were at Together for Adoption Boot Camp in Greenville, and Angie could not put down a picture of another child. We kept just staring at her wide eyed. Really!?! Four boys? Yes, that was God's call. And now it will be 5 Rylands boys, 4 from Asia and 1 from birth. They have amazing stories of how God led all of them to these boys, and you can check out all the details on their blog.

Cooper Rylands

Their process is a little different than ours since they met their next two boys from a "Waiting Child List", they did not have as many wait times as we did. So,  even though they started a few months behind us, they are on the almost on the identical time table as we are. We may even get to travel together for part of this trip!  

Here's the catch: since their process goes faster, they have had a lot less time to fundraise. They haven't had 18 months to fundraise, like we have. They've had since this summer, about 6 months, and they are adopting 2 more boys!  They have the orphanage fees to cover for both boys as their next step. 

As I've shared, the orphanage fees are fees that are required and paid to care for children who are not adopted yet. They average orphanage fee is $6,000 per child. There are also 2 extra plane tickets to come home, visas, hotel for about 2 weeks, etc, and travel. So their total need is still over $20,000 and it looks like they'll be approved to travel by the end of February, early March, like we will be.

Do I believe it's going to come in for them? Absolutely. Is it crazy to say that? Yes, but after what I have seen God do this year in our own adoption and the support of Journey Together, I know that God is calling so many to give just a little to do something very big! 

This week, the Rylands are featured on the Give 1 Save 1 Blog. Checkout their story here. They also have a matching grant from Journey Together for the first $1,000 that they raise. Check out their post, their video and all the fun here!

About Give1Save1: 

I love Give1Save1: Asia because they are creating a community and habit that continually supports adoptive families, much like what we hope the Charleston community will feel called to do with our Hope Families. I hope that supporting adoptions becomes a normal part of budgets and planning and generous giving, etc. Give1Save1 asks families to log on every week and give just $1 to an adopting family that is featured on their website. So, this week, it's our Rylands!



Please pray for this precious family, and if God tugs at your heart to give $1, $5 or more, thank you and please do it! And please never think that your $1 or $2 gift doesn't make a difference. It really does. I can testify to that! Just getting a $10 bill handed to us during this journey has been a crazy encouragement.


Thank you for taking the time to read about our special friends and their journey, and thank you so much for your love and support over the last year.  

P.S. Angie also has some other adoption related fundraisers on her blog. One of them is amazing Goat Milk Soap for $6. It has cleared up some of my skin issues better than anything I've used in ages! 

P.P.S. Her oldest son, Colin, has his own blog now, too. The link is on her blog! 

So, there are lots of ways to get involved!

We're Having a Party!

So, I wasn't sure how to handle Meili Joy's birthday, and today it hit me. We'll have an online fundraising party for her. And I think we'll go ahead and have some pink cupcakes that day, too. 

And, you are invited! You are invited to make one more donation, and we are seriously just asking for $10. Yep, that's it! And then, maybe you could share this with 10 other people if you'd like to. Because that would be even more fun.

And then we're going to take a set of wooden building blocks and custom paint them and creatively write on the side of the blocks, the names of everyone who gives to this birthday celebration. I was looking for a way to preserve the names and faces of so many people who have loved this little girl and helped us bring her home, and I believe this will be it. 

I'm even thinking we might have a creative painting party for the blocks, too since I have so many crafty friends.

Please remember, we are so thankful for each one of you and your part in our story to Meili Joy, and so excited for so many of you to be a part of her life here in Charleston.  

Ah, yes! We are in the home stretch. I keep seeing paperwork coming in at lightning speed in my facebook groups with other adopting families. And I just know we are really close to LOA. I'm excited. I'm a bit nervous. Okay, a lot nervous. And I'm very eager to be done fundraising (for us, at least ) and just settle into adjustment phase, new family of 5, let reality sink in that I'll be a Mom-of-two 2 year olds by next spring. 

In the mean time, we have a fun event for JTM, then a birthday for Meili Joy, then a fun birthday for my big boy (how did he get to be so big!?), and then Christmas and New Year's! 

And besides y'all, it's advent! Come, Jesus, into all of it! Into all this craziness and all this joy and all this nervousness and all the weariness. O, Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

{Out of Translation} One Step Closer!

We are OOT! Meaning our fancy dossier paperwork is out of translation and ready to find our other paperwork, PA, and take us to our next step of LOA (Letter of Approval that takes about 4-6 weeks), and then we have a few more steps of paperwork to wait for that will take us about 2.5 to 3 months.

So, with shortest time from for LOA and other steps, we could be going to China Feb 19th, um, okay, that's my bday, let's just say that would be an amazing birthday present! Longest estimate would be around March 30th.

Our Joy {Meili Joy Carpenter}

On October 30th, Travis and I met our daughter, Meili Joy, on paper. 

We were very surprised to receive her referral. The night before I had spoken to our case worker with our agency, and I did not at all anticipate a referral. 

I had been told over and over that we'd "just know" when we saw our daughter's face. And between the hand full of files we'd reviewed, I honestly started to question if that was going to happen. I knew we weren't picking our daughter based on a cute face; but over and over I had other adoptive moms tell me that we would just know. 

I was clutching my big old Anthropolgie porcelein "J" mug from Abby, sipping my brew and soaking in Jesus through my Bible on my iphone. Trav was wrapped in a dark gray robe, holding his Bible on his phone, too. I realized that I had missed an email from the night before, and ended up on the phone at 6:45 am with someone from the agency.

 So, quickly we were on the phone discussing her special need and the fact that there were some things about her file that were outside of our original "child desired" form. And it mattered; but it didn't.

We both just nodded, and mouthed "This is it! This is her file!".

I think that early morning moment will forever be frozen in my mind.


A few hours later, as her pictures scrolled onto my computer screen, we laughed and were grateful for the hours and days we had spent looking at photos of children online from Asia. She was, of course, dressed in masculine clothes, and we weren't surprised. But, as the picture loaded, Justus knew, too. He rushed to the computer, turned his head to the side in a shy smile. "Baby!" He kept smiling and pointing "Sister!", he said. 

He wasn't phased by the long scar on her little bare chest marking her as a survivor of open heart surgery. 

The morning turned to a flurry of phone calls and rushing her file to via email proper doctors to review. And, by God's amazing grace, we had three cardiologists review her file within hours. Three doctors that I had never spoken to before that day. In fact, one called me from Charlotte after I was given a referral to his office from an online facebook group that new he had a heart for children from Ch**a with this specific heart condition. He was very gracious and kind and eager to help us in any way.

All agreed that her file looked promising. There are always unknowns. Always. Especially in international adoption. 

And we know, there might be more surgery. 

There might be some scary days for her; 

but she is our daughter. 

And, now, it's time to bring her home. 

We are so grateful for every step of this journey. We are constantly humbled and amazed by the work he is doing in Charleston and with Journey Together, and are excited for the next steps. 

Please pray for us as we wait for the last round of paperwork, we are hoping to bring her home early next year, possibly between February - April.We are waiting for LOA, Letter of Approval, and then there a bunch more "A" steps that will get us closer and closer to our approval to travel. We'll keep everyone posted! Please also pray for those taking care of her. Pray even now that God will work to heal her heart in more ways than one.


Fundraising Update:
As for fundraising, we believe we may need about $5,000 more to cover the final costs of our travel, guides, fees, etc. At this time, we have been given a wonderful blessing of having our international flight covered, so we are only looking at our flight from Beijing to Guangzhou, where she is and where we will visit the consulate. We will have several other final agency fees, immigration fees, travel fees, hotel, final document fees, and other miscellaneous fees involving paperwork, Jess' visa will have to be expedited, etc. 

At this time, we are still selling Uganda beads and I am trying to figure out if I can carve out any time for bird's nest necklaces; but I'm honestly not sure I can. I think we'll need to get creative after Christmas and do some type of fun event, etc.

We will also be a featured family at the Journey Together Hope Fund Gala, A Night to Give 1 Hope. This event is raising funds for the Hope Fund that will allow local families to apply for adoption grants. But, people will also be able to donate directly to us through JTM's non-profit status then, too. I hope some of you will be able to attend. 

We do have limited tickets to this amazing event, and you can get them through our eventbrite link: www.journeytogethercharleston.eventbrite.com

 We are also a Hope Family with Journey Together, and that means that we can receive donations through JTM's non-profit status for our adoption. They will write checks directly to our agency, etc. You can see our Hope Family page here!

Thank you for walking this journey with us. For loving our family and our daughter.

Orphan Sunday 2012

This week, I saw my daughter's face for the first time.

This week, I walked to the back of the auditorium to light a candle to pray for our daughter, knowing exactly what she looks like.

This week, I saw my daughter on a vimeo video. She was wearing pink sandles, an orange sweatshirt and yellow pants.

This week, I saw the scar on my daughter's chest where doctor's performed a potentially life saving surgery last March.

This week, Travis and I have a daughter.

This week, my boys have a sister. 

This week, my heart is forever tied to a family in Asia, her birth family.

This weekend at Seacoast Church, Rob Braniff, one of our new pastors, opened our services introducing his family and his three adopted children. This week, Josh Walters, shared our communities story of how God's heart for loving others can change a community. This week, Chris Russo, shared a spoken word to the song God of the City, and I raised my fist in the air and nearly jumped out of my skin.
 
My child doesn't know it yet; but she is not an orphan anymore. She is still in a foster care/orphanage situation half way around the world. But, she has a Mom and Dad who are ready to bring her home. And she has a Mom and Dad who probably made the decision to give her up in order to save her life due to difficult circumstances they can not take care of her.

Today is Orphan Sunday 2012 and such a huge day for our journey into adoption. Yes, it is all about one child. Yes, it is a journey of each family. But, it is always a bigger story. So many of us do not know we have a Father. We live without hope. And my hearts prayer today as I pray for 147 million without families around the world, is that the rest of the billions that do not know their Abba Father will also find their way home today!

Soli deo Gloria! 

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you."
-Jesus