Today is our packing day. And wow, do we need a day! We are bringing home lots of special gifts for our little girl (and for our boys, too!).
Travis and I keep standing and looking out the big huge window over the city. We're definitely not big city people, and we are eager to get home; but we are both sad, too. Last night, when Meili Joy fell asleep on our bed, I laid down beside her and a huge lump pushed at my throat. I went ahead and cried. I have no idea how she is going to process everything in the next few days. She has been happy and playful (for the most part) with us. She's had her moments, and definitely is a two year old who doesn't like to be told "no".
However, we are also prepared for reality, she has been in China, and in a familiar place with the same smell, busy streets, and mostly Asian faces. Yes, she's had a mix of Americans around her in our travel group; but she's still the majority. She also thinks she's an only child right now.
This is where things get real. There is a lot of one word prayers going on in my heart right now "Abba". The best and most simple prayer.
We can't wait to get her home, and join our boys at home. We know they are going to make a dynamic threesome. I can already tell that she and Justus will battle it out a bit, and that Austin will be a wonderful big brother to her. Sidebar, Justus also doesn't know he's about to become a twin.
What will we do when we get home? And what are we asking of you as our family and community?
Please continue to pray for us. We are already tired, and we are on a 12 hour time change right now, and so is Meili Joy. And this will be new for everyone. This will also be a bit different than when we brought the boys home. We'll need a different kind of support.
We are excited to meet some of our family and MJ's grandparents at the airport. We'll be arriving around 5 pm on March 21st. I hope that MJ will have slept and as long as she has some food, I think she'll be in good spirits. We welcome anyone who wants to see her.
A couple requests:
We do ask that you don't ask to hold her or give her anything at the airport. If you have special gifts, we can save those for later. I believe her brothers have gifts for her. If your kids have something, that is okay. Please be prepared, she may grab it, and she doesn't know how to share at all yet.
After the airport, we're going to try to hunker down for awhile. Yes, I said "hunker".
This is going to be hard; but we are trusting all the attachment/adoption experts on this. We will be focusing our time of connecting now as a family of 5 and in a new place for Meili Joy. We've got a great bond going on with her; but she still doesn't get that we are fully her parents now. And our parenting is taking a huge curve, being new parents to a two year old who we have no solid background information on is challenging. We were told that she was in foster care when we got her file (in Oct), and then we were told when we got here she had barely been in foster care. She has been taken from a biological family, to nursing and orphanage staff, to a three month stay in foster care as an only child, back to the orphanage, to a two week fun-spree with us. So, helping her to create a security in her identity as our child, a sister, and us as her parents is vastly important to her attachment in the long run.
And what do we mean by attachment? There are dozens of articles and studies and professionals who can speak to this; but for a child who has experienced trauma (like our girl), finding a secure place is very important. Even if she is very happy and energetic, at the core, she is still not sure what is going on yet. For her to thrive, we want to give her that security of us as her parents, that we will take care of her. As an infant, our boys figured that outon their own and quickly. We even tried to get them used to lots of people who fed them, gave them things, etc.
Well, basically, with adoption, it's backwards.
So, we don't want anyone to have their feelings hurt or feel that we are keeping her from all of you. Everyone in our community and family have been a huge part of this journey and helping us financially, physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, we are asking you to join us on the second part. This isn't the glamorous part. This isn't just the precious adorable smiling child, or the energy of fundraising. This is when we parent and love and grow into a full forever family with a new child who has come from a hard place. You all saw place where she was found. That reality doesn't go away, even though she maintains a very playful disposition.
The main goals, if you are around us, please allow us to feed her, give her things, change her, hand her toys, food, and anything she needs. If she reaches for you (and she will if she is mad at us for saying "no") please go ahead and smile at her and point to us. Please don't give her any toys or things at this time. If you want to give her something specifically so she knows it is from you, you can hang onto it for awhile, and we'll get it to her.
Please pay attention to our boys, too. They will need lots of extra attention.
We know that especially for our extended family, this is a lot to ask. We feel especially for Travis and I's parents this is going to be a bit hard for the first few months. We've always worked very hard for our boys to connect and have special relationships with them, and we want the same for MJ. It's going to have to come at a slower pace. We know from other friends who have told us that if their child connects more with a grandparent more than the parents in the first few months, that it can delay their attachment by months. So, we are grateful that our family understands and is going to allow us to have a different approach for a few months. Having to ask my sister not to come in right away to Charleston to meet her, was hard. She was ready to hop a plane . Having to ask my Mom not to come over to help me for the first week or two, is hard. (She's even going out of town!) Having to ask our special Grandaddy Bag to be put on hold for Karen and Tom is hard.
Again, hard decision; but as her parents, we have to make the best decision for her and help her to thrive in the best way possible. We so appreciate all your support in this adjustment. Thank you for loving us, giving us so much grace, and being with us through all of this. We invite you to the next phase with us, too!
We don't know exactly how long this will take; but we've been advised to keep limited attachment for the firsts month home. So, that's where we'll start. Please keep praying for us, and we will be posting and sharing. We'll be taking Meili Joy to a cardiologist in a few weeks, we do know she has a slight murmur still, and we are praying for positive results that we don't need another heart surgery anytime soon.
Please also feel free to talk to our adoption community, Laura Lewis or Sharon Lyon or Angie Rylands, if you have any questions on the attachment or don't get why we are doing something. And please feel free to message us or ask us, too. We aren't sure how crazy things will be; but we promise to try to be open and appreciate all your grace during this next phase.
I have to admit, I'm super nervous. Living in a hotel with no job to do, and 2 weeks with Travis, and no meals to make has allowed us to fully focus on Meili Joy! Now, it gets real!
We love y'all!
Jess & Travis
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Fun Times & Not So Fun Time
After we went to Meili Joy's finding spot, our awesome guide, Rebecca, had us stop for lunch. When we walked in there was an entire fish market, including a standing pool with fish in it. Craziness.
Rebecca ordered for us and our driver and we had fried rice, noodles, and some type of peanut dessert with hot tea (of course).
After this, Meili was exhausted. She cried for about 30 minutes on the way home. We called it a day.
That night, we went out to dinner across the street and experienced some of the disturbing evening scenese. Apparently, there are a couple of extremely disfigured and disabled people who are brought out by other people to the streets at night. They are laid in the middle of the sidewalk. We had been prepared for this, and last week, apparently, they were on the walking over passes. But, I still can't get over it and we literally almost stepped on them. We understand there is nothing we can do and giving them money isn't the best idea. I won't detail out the scene for anyone; but I have never seen anything like this before. I was grateful again for the work that A21 and other anti-trafficking organizations are doing around the world. And I wanted to scream and punch the people we suspect are trying to make money off of these individuals, the ones lurking to the sides.
We are having so much fun in the hotel hanging ou with her and playing and eating noodles. I am grateful for the down time because it is a very busy area. We also spend a lot of time packing up all of our things to take with us. Exchanging money. Making sure we have snacks for our little princess, etc.
We were very grateful for a huge group that came in on Friday night.
On Saturday morning 11 families got on our big tour bus and went to the Medical clinic. It was crazy, and our guides did an amazing job.
We all lined up first for photos, and our little girl had JUST fallen asleep in the carrier. She falls asleep on me in the carrier almost every morning. She seems to sort of glaze over around 9:30 am and if I'm holding her or we get in a van, she sleeps great. Anyhow, we had to wake her for her photo. So, it's a pretty funny photo. Then we go from room to room in our groups. One was for weight and height. She was great, and then cried a little. Then one was for drawing blood. They just changed the TB test from a patch test to drawing blood. They actually took her from us for about 4 minutes and did the procedure. I was so sad for her, and happy to get her back. She sweats like crazy when she gets upset.
Then we had to have them listen to her heart. Our guide was going to stay with us, but she was running back and forth. And the first nurse was talking to me in Mandarin, and I had no idea what she said. She came back with another doctor. He listened to her heart, and they talked. Then he went and got another doctor. I was getting super nervous. The third doctor came in and they all talked. We found Rebecca by then, and she said that they were saying she still had a slight heart murmur. We expected that she may have this since she had open heart surgery last year. They told us that the doctor who was the third one they brought in was "a very famous good doctor".
We were there forever. Meili started to get super wild, and we were glad to get back to the hotel.
We went to the Banana Leaf with Angie, her Mom, and her boys. We had our first crazy experience with service. We had heard great things about this place. First they brought us one big menu, we finally flagged someone down to give us a second menu. We ordered our food. We loved the green beans and chicken and rice that Angie ordered was good also.We also liked the spring rolls. Our noodles never came, and that was when the fun began. We waved at about 7 people. They would lift their hand at us and keep going. What?!
Finally, we had poor Cameron translate that we didn't get our noodles. Then 20 minutes later they still weren't there. So, we told them, we didn't want them, we want to go. So, we tried to just get dessert. We asked Connor (who has been with Angie for a week) how to say "Mango Pudding" in Mandarin. He can read the characters and then Cameron interprets what he says (in Mandarin). So, he reads it. Looks at us and says "Mang Go Pu Deen" In a specific cadence. Hilarious. So, we say "mango pudding" as "Mango Pudding". Finally after arguing with them, we settled everything.
What a night!
Rebecca ordered for us and our driver and we had fried rice, noodles, and some type of peanut dessert with hot tea (of course).
After this, Meili was exhausted. She cried for about 30 minutes on the way home. We called it a day.
That night, we went out to dinner across the street and experienced some of the disturbing evening scenese. Apparently, there are a couple of extremely disfigured and disabled people who are brought out by other people to the streets at night. They are laid in the middle of the sidewalk. We had been prepared for this, and last week, apparently, they were on the walking over passes. But, I still can't get over it and we literally almost stepped on them. We understand there is nothing we can do and giving them money isn't the best idea. I won't detail out the scene for anyone; but I have never seen anything like this before. I was grateful again for the work that A21 and other anti-trafficking organizations are doing around the world. And I wanted to scream and punch the people we suspect are trying to make money off of these individuals, the ones lurking to the sides.
We are having so much fun in the hotel hanging ou with her and playing and eating noodles. I am grateful for the down time because it is a very busy area. We also spend a lot of time packing up all of our things to take with us. Exchanging money. Making sure we have snacks for our little princess, etc.
We were very grateful for a huge group that came in on Friday night.
On Saturday morning 11 families got on our big tour bus and went to the Medical clinic. It was crazy, and our guides did an amazing job.
We all lined up first for photos, and our little girl had JUST fallen asleep in the carrier. She falls asleep on me in the carrier almost every morning. She seems to sort of glaze over around 9:30 am and if I'm holding her or we get in a van, she sleeps great. Anyhow, we had to wake her for her photo. So, it's a pretty funny photo. Then we go from room to room in our groups. One was for weight and height. She was great, and then cried a little. Then one was for drawing blood. They just changed the TB test from a patch test to drawing blood. They actually took her from us for about 4 minutes and did the procedure. I was so sad for her, and happy to get her back. She sweats like crazy when she gets upset.
Then we had to have them listen to her heart. Our guide was going to stay with us, but she was running back and forth. And the first nurse was talking to me in Mandarin, and I had no idea what she said. She came back with another doctor. He listened to her heart, and they talked. Then he went and got another doctor. I was getting super nervous. The third doctor came in and they all talked. We found Rebecca by then, and she said that they were saying she still had a slight heart murmur. We expected that she may have this since she had open heart surgery last year. They told us that the doctor who was the third one they brought in was "a very famous good doctor".
We were there forever. Meili started to get super wild, and we were glad to get back to the hotel.
We went to the Banana Leaf with Angie, her Mom, and her boys. We had our first crazy experience with service. We had heard great things about this place. First they brought us one big menu, we finally flagged someone down to give us a second menu. We ordered our food. We loved the green beans and chicken and rice that Angie ordered was good also.We also liked the spring rolls. Our noodles never came, and that was when the fun began. We waved at about 7 people. They would lift their hand at us and keep going. What?!
Finally, we had poor Cameron translate that we didn't get our noodles. Then 20 minutes later they still weren't there. So, we told them, we didn't want them, we want to go. So, we tried to just get dessert. We asked Connor (who has been with Angie for a week) how to say "Mango Pudding" in Mandarin. He can read the characters and then Cameron interprets what he says (in Mandarin). So, he reads it. Looks at us and says "Mang Go Pu Deen" In a specific cadence. Hilarious. So, we say "mango pudding" as "Mango Pudding". Finally after arguing with them, we settled everything.
What a night!
Friday, March 15, 2013
Finding Spot
After the orphanage visit, we stopped at both the hospitals that the other families children had been found in. We thought her spot was close; but I found out with traffic it was far away. We passed through the Southern part of town, and across the Pearl River. We went by the wedding district. There were amazing dresses in the windows.
Our driver had a hard time finding the exact spot. We were close to some bus stations and a poorer part of town, from what we could tell. We finally found our street. It was very narrow, and small. There were shops along the side, and a man selling cotton candy on the corner. When we stopped at one point for directions, a group of school children came up to our bus. In that area, they are not used to seeing so many Americans. Finally, we rounded a corner and saw the number on the corner of the street.
Meili had been so tired of being in the car, that she was eager to get out. By now, we had a crowd, too. So many people were following our van down the street. When we got out, Meili said something in Cantonese and pointed. I called to our guide, and she was a bit taken back, too. Meili had pointed at the corner spot and said "right there!"
Are you kidding me? We know she could just be babbling; but we also know that God is sovereign and he could easily helps a two year old remember where she was found and said goodbye to her mother over 1 months ago.
I stared up at the broken glass of the windows surrounding us. There was a clean area where Meili had pointed. Travis and I were both taken back. There was noise and sounds and people now gathered in a group staring at us. We walked around, and followed Meili around a corner. Our guide said it was the back of an import/export building. We turned the corner to the side of the small apartments. I was hoping we'd make enough noise for the people inside to come out. I wanted to run around in circles asking everyone we saw if they remembered her being there.
Travis did a great job of getting photos. Our guide told us that she thinks Meili was from another city, and brought here by bus and then takend to a safe place. She believes that her birth mother was watching from the corner and made sure that she was "found safely" and taken to the police station. She would have known about the excellent reputation of the SWI in GZ. Since, Meili had surgery done so quickly, we also believe that her mother and father made a decision to save her life that day.
I am so glad we went to the place she was found.
Months ago, a very brave mother chose life for her child. Many moths ago, she walked away grieving.
Her daughter was safely on her way to a new life.
Standing in that spot today, I was so humbled and broken for her Mama.
And I felt as if our two families were officially bonded.
I wish I could find her and tell her how much we promise to love and cherish this little girl. I hope that our Fater comforts her heart and draws her and her father to him.
That we will honor her birth family and heritage and never forget standing where she was found.
We are grateful for the chance to love her and to join our two families forever on this day.
At this place.
In those moments.
Our Father is there.
Never leaves us.
Always ready to find us.
She was never lost or abandoned.
She was found.
She was chosen.
I'm fighting back tears as I type this. She is sitting zipping the wipes bag beside me.
Smiling at me ever few moments for reassurance. We'll leave her country soon.
So, while we are here, God, give us the strength and grace to breath it all in.
Visiting the Orphanage
This morning, we met with another family and headed to the SWI of Guangzhou. We were originally told that Meili Joy was in foster care. However, we found out she was in the Medical building of the orphanage after her surgery. She was only in foster care for about 3 months before we came.
We drove for about 30 minutes, and headed up a big hill. The orphanage sits on top of an area over looking some acres of farmland. The guide with us, showed us the medical facility; but we could not go in it. Then took us to the exhibit hall. There was a book that Lifeline had donated of all the LL babies that had been adopted from this orphanage. The air was better up there because of the farming. It was crazy. So, we walked up the hill uhung onto us. I couldn't reach out to too many of them because I had her in the Ergo. But, the teachers were very nice.
They call her "Guang Guang" or "Xiao Jun".
Then we saw one of the classrooms. Again, I was blown away. They teach them colors, words, and have some sensory items like dry leaves and sand boxes. We did not expect it to be this nice. Later, we found out that the medical building had been donated by a family in the area. So, it is one of the nicer facilities. We were very happy to see how well stimulated she had been, and understand now why she is so smart. Her teachers said "She is very very smart".
Upstairs we met some of the Nannies who had taken care of her and saw her room and the name on the door outside of her room. She wanted her Nanny to hold her, and I was happy that she did. They were very very sweet. They told us that she goes to sleep in a crib without being rocked, so that the two hours of standing up to get her to sleep is not normal. Even though she's been in a great facilitiy, she still hasn't had a Mama and Baba of her own for over 15 months.
I coudln't help but cry when we said good bye to her Nannies. I was so happy that she'd been in a fairly clean place and well taken care of; and it hurt my heart to have her leave the place she's known for so many months. She was pretty calm in the carrrier. She liked seeing the Nannies and liked leaving, too.
There are around 1,000 children there. We went by one of the baby rooms. All the Nannies came and were babbling at us. An older teenager leaned out really close to look at her and was kissing her and reaching for her. We walked down the hall way to see another room and I asked our guide about the girl.
They said she had aged out; but that since SWI here has so many childlren, they are able to allow her to work there until she can get a job. This isn't always the case for a lot of the chilren. She was very cute, and I could tell she needed glasses; but wasn't wearing them. Travis and I want to send a few things back to her. They said that she helped take care of a lot of the children. I have to admit, meeting her was pretty brutal for me. I wanted to take her home with us. I asked our guide if the older children were able to come to America once they were 18 and get a visa, etc. She said that it's often not possible because of our immigration laws. But, I totally wanted to bring her home with us.
She wasn't wearing her glasses because she was afraid she looked ugly; but she was very beautiful and I told her. I could tell she was very interested in the children and had been very involved with them.
It was very odd, the entire feeling. It really did just seem like I was visiting a daycare; but realizing these children aren't leaving, most of them, any time soon was brutal. I was so grateful for the big wall display again of the Lifeline families who were adopting from this specifici orphanage.
We drove for about 30 minutes, and headed up a big hill. The orphanage sits on top of an area over looking some acres of farmland. The guide with us, showed us the medical facility; but we could not go in it. Then took us to the exhibit hall. There was a book that Lifeline had donated of all the LL babies that had been adopted from this orphanage. The air was better up there because of the farming. It was crazy. So, we walked up the hill uhung onto us. I couldn't reach out to too many of them because I had her in the Ergo. But, the teachers were very nice.
They call her "Guang Guang" or "Xiao Jun".
Then we saw one of the classrooms. Again, I was blown away. They teach them colors, words, and have some sensory items like dry leaves and sand boxes. We did not expect it to be this nice. Later, we found out that the medical building had been donated by a family in the area. So, it is one of the nicer facilities. We were very happy to see how well stimulated she had been, and understand now why she is so smart. Her teachers said "She is very very smart".
Upstairs we met some of the Nannies who had taken care of her and saw her room and the name on the door outside of her room. She wanted her Nanny to hold her, and I was happy that she did. They were very very sweet. They told us that she goes to sleep in a crib without being rocked, so that the two hours of standing up to get her to sleep is not normal. Even though she's been in a great facilitiy, she still hasn't had a Mama and Baba of her own for over 15 months.
I coudln't help but cry when we said good bye to her Nannies. I was so happy that she'd been in a fairly clean place and well taken care of; and it hurt my heart to have her leave the place she's known for so many months. She was pretty calm in the carrrier. She liked seeing the Nannies and liked leaving, too.
There are around 1,000 children there. We went by one of the baby rooms. All the Nannies came and were babbling at us. An older teenager leaned out really close to look at her and was kissing her and reaching for her. We walked down the hall way to see another room and I asked our guide about the girl.
They said she had aged out; but that since SWI here has so many childlren, they are able to allow her to work there until she can get a job. This isn't always the case for a lot of the chilren. She was very cute, and I could tell she needed glasses; but wasn't wearing them. Travis and I want to send a few things back to her. They said that she helped take care of a lot of the children. I have to admit, meeting her was pretty brutal for me. I wanted to take her home with us. I asked our guide if the older children were able to come to America once they were 18 and get a visa, etc. She said that it's often not possible because of our immigration laws. But, I totally wanted to bring her home with us.
She wasn't wearing her glasses because she was afraid she looked ugly; but she was very beautiful and I told her. I could tell she was very interested in the children and had been very involved with them.
It was very odd, the entire feeling. It really did just seem like I was visiting a daycare; but realizing these children aren't leaving, most of them, any time soon was brutal. I was so grateful for the big wall display again of the Lifeline families who were adopting from this specifici orphanage.
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Day 4: Ancestral Temples
I was a little nervous about going to "temples". I had a little bit of an odd experience in Tokyo, years ago. But, we thought it was important that we go to learn a little more about her culture. It's a big deal to be in her actual city (where she was found). So, we are trying very hard to get a feel for the culture here. Even though it seems like New York to us, it's still very different. Today, it was cooler. Wish I'd worn a jacket to the tour. But, it was more comfortable than the days before.
The ancestral temple was a former special home for worship and school for one of the larger royal fammilies. It's not functional anymore and the government owns it; but the architecture was amazing. No nails in the entire building. The carvings are beatuiful. We bought our tea sets here because they are guaranteed not to have lead in them (Okay, so I bought two sets. I couldn't help it. The cheaper "every day" set was cute; but not as amazing as the smaller more expenseive sets. We bought a fancier set for MJ for her wedding or something special like that). And we had a small tea ceremony with the ladies. It was wonderful. We also saw these crazy bugs for sale. We bought small little charms for the boys. Hilarious. And we watched them hand paint artwork and the pottery.
Our guide, Rebecca, told us that China is known for some of these specific trades and it is important to preserve the culture by passing down the tradition of these hand made items. It was fun to buy some of these special gifts for Meili Joy here. We also found out that what we were calling "cherry blossoms" are actually Mei Flowers. Um, hello!? Rebecca was so excited that we were naming her Meili. She kept saying "that means beautiful. and it is a Chinese name!"
So, after the temple. We came home and she took her first long nap. My head and sinus' are horrible, so I started my zpac. Pretty sure the smog and cigarette smoke is getting to me. Then we decided to try to find a few more restaurants and stores on our own. So, for the families traveling behind us, here are my notes. We tried to find the Banana Leaf restaurant, and we didn't. We found the Saltan Turkish restauarnt though!
So, here we are going out to dinner. I had also bought a dress the day before in one of the boutiques, we figured I better be stylish and also used our "godmother" Aunt Abby money for a special boutique dress with a little petticoat skirt for Meili Joy. So, we have done the high fashion side of GZ now. The ladies in the store said "Oh, I have 'L' for you" meaning Large. And, they come way off their pricies when I showed any interest. It was pretty funny. And that was even in the mall. I am not loving that my flat iron doesn't work well. It's so fancy here, that I'm not loving being all grungy casual. But, that's probably just my vanity!
Soon to travel families:
So, come out of the front of the hotel, walk along the sidewalk, up the weird stairs w/ a ramp in the middle and down the subway stairs. Once down stairs, veer to the right (don't buy a ticket) and follow the Exit B signs, you'll come back up the stairs on the other side of the road. You can't cross the road there unless you do this, or walk to the other side, where the high bridge/cross walk is. I was scared to walk this. I had heard there were some very disturbing sights from disfigured homeless people and other situations. But, we did walk that way back after dinner. It wasn't too bad. We had taken the stroller, and that was hard. We went through the Friendship Store, and managed the floors. Floor 4 has the extra grocery story. Floor 6 is high end children's clothes. Nothing super special. And the mall is insane! Designer everything!
We walked down one of the side streets, and finally saw the Sultan Restuarant (under the Friendship Store to the left of the huge TV screen). It was a turkish restaurant that another adoptive family was coming out of. They said it was good. We ordered the flat bread and the appetizer dip that was yogurt (like tzaziki) and then split a mixed chicken & kabob meal. We also ordered the chick pea salad and the rice pudding and the other pudding and turkish tea for dessert.
She dressed up and put her headband on and all the bright colored hair ties that I had and that Abby had bought for me.
The ancestral temple was a former special home for worship and school for one of the larger royal fammilies. It's not functional anymore and the government owns it; but the architecture was amazing. No nails in the entire building. The carvings are beatuiful. We bought our tea sets here because they are guaranteed not to have lead in them (Okay, so I bought two sets. I couldn't help it. The cheaper "every day" set was cute; but not as amazing as the smaller more expenseive sets. We bought a fancier set for MJ for her wedding or something special like that). And we had a small tea ceremony with the ladies. It was wonderful. We also saw these crazy bugs for sale. We bought small little charms for the boys. Hilarious. And we watched them hand paint artwork and the pottery.
This is most of our group, minus one of the families. Five more families come in on Friday!
So, after the temple. We came home and she took her first long nap. My head and sinus' are horrible, so I started my zpac. Pretty sure the smog and cigarette smoke is getting to me. Then we decided to try to find a few more restaurants and stores on our own. So, for the families traveling behind us, here are my notes. We tried to find the Banana Leaf restaurant, and we didn't. We found the Saltan Turkish restauarnt though!
So, here we are going out to dinner. I had also bought a dress the day before in one of the boutiques, we figured I better be stylish and also used our "godmother" Aunt Abby money for a special boutique dress with a little petticoat skirt for Meili Joy. So, we have done the high fashion side of GZ now. The ladies in the store said "Oh, I have 'L' for you" meaning Large. And, they come way off their pricies when I showed any interest. It was pretty funny. And that was even in the mall. I am not loving that my flat iron doesn't work well. It's so fancy here, that I'm not loving being all grungy casual. But, that's probably just my vanity!
Soon to travel families:
So, come out of the front of the hotel, walk along the sidewalk, up the weird stairs w/ a ramp in the middle and down the subway stairs. Once down stairs, veer to the right (don't buy a ticket) and follow the Exit B signs, you'll come back up the stairs on the other side of the road. You can't cross the road there unless you do this, or walk to the other side, where the high bridge/cross walk is. I was scared to walk this. I had heard there were some very disturbing sights from disfigured homeless people and other situations. But, we did walk that way back after dinner. It wasn't too bad. We had taken the stroller, and that was hard. We went through the Friendship Store, and managed the floors. Floor 4 has the extra grocery story. Floor 6 is high end children's clothes. Nothing super special. And the mall is insane! Designer everything!
She dressed up and put her headband on and all the bright colored hair ties that I had and that Abby had bought for me.
Okay, VPN back up. Hitting "publish". Wish I could load more photos; but they are only letting me load one at a time. I have to go back & hit "upload" and open the camera folder each time and start over. Oh, well! Thanks for praying!
Day 3 with Meili Joy
The only thing our agenda on our 3rd day with her was to go to the police station for passports. Again, we thought this would be a lot of down time; but we were tired. So, we all took our time getting up. Had another breakfast downstairs, and hung out in the room.
We took a walk through the "Gardens" of the Garden Hotel. Meili Joy liked these and we let her ride in the stroller. She really likes to go. She gets super excited when she sees me getting my shoes. She grabs her shoes and tries to put them on. Then when we are ready to go, she baby babbles at me and gets behind me and pushes me. She runs to the elevators and squeals when she hears the bell sound of the elevator arriving.
We have to hang onto her downstairs, the lobby is very busy and she wants to run around. We have been doing big breakfasts and sort of skipping lunches.
We did do some walking. We tried to find the grocery store again. We missed it; but ended up at Starbucks for green tea frappuccinos because she fell asleep in the carrier on me. Then, we went and found a cute dress in a boutique for me. Well, a shirt for me. It's a dress for most people here.
At 3pm, we all loaded up and headed to the police station. We had our passports on us. Our guide had us do everything in order. They took a photo of MJ and we weren't allowed to take photos in the building. We had to wait til 3 pm because that's how long our paperwork from the day before takes to process through the system, etc.
Our guide took us down anoter street, out the the other side of our hotel where the pharmacy is. She showed us a few stores and we found out the Cow and Bridge restaurant had opened here in GZ. Our friends had told us that this was a great restaurant for Thai food. We went with another couple who is from Greenwood, SC. This is their 2nd adoption, so they are pros. MJ threw a crazy tantrum before we went in. I was so scared that someone was going to take her from me. And both our kids were just crazy in the restaurant. But, maybe the fact that I forgot my "I'm allergic to lemongrass" card at home started the evening off great. The waitress literally called someone who spoke English and he talked to me. They brought out a stalk of what looked like celery; but they thought was lemongrass and put it on the table to show me. Anyhow, it was very funny. The couple we were with had great fun with us. I think everyone was glad when we left.
Prayer requests: sleeping. We want to do everything we can to help her sleep well and the best way she can feels safe and secure. However, we've found out she most likely is used to going to sleep on someone while they are standing up. And neither of our backs are doing well standing and holding her (in dead weight) for 30-120 minutes. So, we are really praying for wisdom on how to help her and not frustrate her at all; but also what we can physically sustain.
We will visit her orphanage on Friday AM (Thursday night your time). Please pray for this.
And keep praying for our boys, our health, our travel group, etc. We know that she's doing very well right now; but we are being very cautious and trying to trust the guides, our agency, and cotinuously rely on God's wisdom and strength.
But, y'all this little girl is amazing!!!!! We can't wait to get her home to meet her brothers. We know they are going to love her and she is going to be so excited to have them (well, at least she will be eventually).
We took a walk through the "Gardens" of the Garden Hotel. Meili Joy liked these and we let her ride in the stroller. She really likes to go. She gets super excited when she sees me getting my shoes. She grabs her shoes and tries to put them on. Then when we are ready to go, she baby babbles at me and gets behind me and pushes me. She runs to the elevators and squeals when she hears the bell sound of the elevator arriving.
We did do some walking. We tried to find the grocery store again. We missed it; but ended up at Starbucks for green tea frappuccinos because she fell asleep in the carrier on me. Then, we went and found a cute dress in a boutique for me. Well, a shirt for me. It's a dress for most people here.
At 3pm, we all loaded up and headed to the police station. We had our passports on us. Our guide had us do everything in order. They took a photo of MJ and we weren't allowed to take photos in the building. We had to wait til 3 pm because that's how long our paperwork from the day before takes to process through the system, etc.
Our guide took us down anoter street, out the the other side of our hotel where the pharmacy is. She showed us a few stores and we found out the Cow and Bridge restaurant had opened here in GZ. Our friends had told us that this was a great restaurant for Thai food. We went with another couple who is from Greenwood, SC. This is their 2nd adoption, so they are pros. MJ threw a crazy tantrum before we went in. I was so scared that someone was going to take her from me. And both our kids were just crazy in the restaurant. But, maybe the fact that I forgot my "I'm allergic to lemongrass" card at home started the evening off great. The waitress literally called someone who spoke English and he talked to me. They brought out a stalk of what looked like celery; but they thought was lemongrass and put it on the table to show me. Anyhow, it was very funny. The couple we were with had great fun with us. I think everyone was glad when we left.
Prayer requests: sleeping. We want to do everything we can to help her sleep well and the best way she can feels safe and secure. However, we've found out she most likely is used to going to sleep on someone while they are standing up. And neither of our backs are doing well standing and holding her (in dead weight) for 30-120 minutes. So, we are really praying for wisdom on how to help her and not frustrate her at all; but also what we can physically sustain.
We will visit her orphanage on Friday AM (Thursday night your time). Please pray for this.
And keep praying for our boys, our health, our travel group, etc. We know that she's doing very well right now; but we are being very cautious and trying to trust the guides, our agency, and cotinuously rely on God's wisdom and strength.
But, y'all this little girl is amazing!!!!! We can't wait to get her home to meet her brothers. We know they are going to love her and she is going to be so excited to have them (well, at least she will be eventually).
Guangzhou
So, our sweet pea is from Guangzhou. Many parts of Ch**a are more remote country side, etc. But, our little girl is from GZ. And this sort of feels a lot like New York City. So, our first Gotcha Day was pretty low key. We ordered room service and ate in the hotel. Travis held Meili until she was asleep and she slept through the night in her crib. She woke up once around 11:30 pm. She went back to sleep after being held for awhile.
Travis and I were both pretty tired, too. So, we all went to bed early. It was so surreal to have walked through the day we had been praying and dreaming about. We still are so grateful for all the prayers and support. We couldn't believe how many people were setting alarms and online in the middle of the night praying for us.
Thank you. It is very crazy to finally be going through the motions, and trying to absorb as much as possible. And it is sort of as if you kick into auto-pilot. So, our prayers, are just "Here we go, Jesus, go before us."
The next morning we had our first breakfast and lots of time just hanging out in the hotel. We wonderered why there was so much "down time" in our schedule the first few days; but just getting ready, trying to navigate what we'll eat, what she needs, playing, facing getting dressed challenges (or rather not getting dressed) is a big deal. So, at 9:30 am, we headed back to the civial affairs office with our group. We were wondered if any of the children would be nervous. But, they were mostly playing together. One at a time, we went into a side office with a gift with us, and we were asked a few questions, with our passports. And we signed a form saying we wanted to adopt her. We promised to never abandon or abuse her and told them why we wanted to adopt her. Then we went upstairs to have our forms notarized and were asked more questions. And left a small gift, etc.
No one really looked at the gifts or smiled; but they were polite.
Then our guide ran to the bank for our orphanage "donations". We were given official forms and took a photo with the three of us as the "official" photo. And as far as Ch**a is concerned, she is legally our daughter!
She also was gulping down her water. We found out she could really care less about the formula. But, we sort of keep making it for her. She ate puffs and fruit and bread and noodles constantly for the first 48 hours. We didn't care. We just kept letting her know there is plenty of food. She gets very upset if you try to share a plate.
That night, we started the infatuation with the I Love New York shirt. Once she has a shirt on, she likes to stick with it for awhile. Again, we just go with it. The second morning, we just put her new clothes over her pajama shirt. After breakfast, she was attached to her new shirt, so we could take off the pajama shirt.
We ventured out of the hotel, which seems silly; but again, this feels a bit like New York to us. So, it's busy. Huge buildings and busy streets, and no crosswalks. Also, everyone told me that it's super "casual attire" here. I am assuming the provinces are more casual; but people are dressed in stillettos and even full sequin dresses even at breakfast. It's no wonder MJ is a fashionista. She's from this city.
For friend who will travel here, we walked out the side door of the hotel (passed the elevators and toward the bank) out the back door to the right, through the gates and toward Costa Coffee. Starbucks will be the to the right. There is a little mall there, and at 3F is Belgiannos. It was great Italian. They don't let you bring your own water. So, we ordered cokes and then a bottle of Evian. They said "It's a big bottle". So funny. We drank the entire bottle between the 3 of us. Travis ordered the lasanga and we ordered saffron risotto and a penne pasta for MJ and I. They had a great sauce that was basically tomatoes with different breads. We were very early, and so, the entire wait staff just stood and stared at us. They really liked Meili Joy. She and I wore bows in our hair.
So, that was our 2nd night! MJ slept mainly through the night. But, was up for about 2 hours. Travis is the baby whisperer. She really likes to be held standing up. She doesn't know how to support herself, so she's completely dead weight. Obviously, I want ot hold her; but this is pretty brutal on my back. But, I also think she thinks he is cozier to sleep on. She definitely doesn't fall asleep without being rocked our held standing up. Travis also stands by the window and for some reason looking out over the city really calms her down.
(Again, no editing, etc. Forgive the errors. VPN only works intermittantly. Maybe someone can log in & edit for me!)
Travis and I were both pretty tired, too. So, we all went to bed early. It was so surreal to have walked through the day we had been praying and dreaming about. We still are so grateful for all the prayers and support. We couldn't believe how many people were setting alarms and online in the middle of the night praying for us.
Thank you. It is very crazy to finally be going through the motions, and trying to absorb as much as possible. And it is sort of as if you kick into auto-pilot. So, our prayers, are just "Here we go, Jesus, go before us."
The next morning we had our first breakfast and lots of time just hanging out in the hotel. We wonderered why there was so much "down time" in our schedule the first few days; but just getting ready, trying to navigate what we'll eat, what she needs, playing, facing getting dressed challenges (or rather not getting dressed) is a big deal. So, at 9:30 am, we headed back to the civial affairs office with our group. We were wondered if any of the children would be nervous. But, they were mostly playing together. One at a time, we went into a side office with a gift with us, and we were asked a few questions, with our passports. And we signed a form saying we wanted to adopt her. We promised to never abandon or abuse her and told them why we wanted to adopt her. Then we went upstairs to have our forms notarized and were asked more questions. And left a small gift, etc.
No one really looked at the gifts or smiled; but they were polite.
She also was gulping down her water. We found out she could really care less about the formula. But, we sort of keep making it for her. She ate puffs and fruit and bread and noodles constantly for the first 48 hours. We didn't care. We just kept letting her know there is plenty of food. She gets very upset if you try to share a plate.
That night, we started the infatuation with the I Love New York shirt. Once she has a shirt on, she likes to stick with it for awhile. Again, we just go with it. The second morning, we just put her new clothes over her pajama shirt. After breakfast, she was attached to her new shirt, so we could take off the pajama shirt.
We ventured out of the hotel, which seems silly; but again, this feels a bit like New York to us. So, it's busy. Huge buildings and busy streets, and no crosswalks. Also, everyone told me that it's super "casual attire" here. I am assuming the provinces are more casual; but people are dressed in stillettos and even full sequin dresses even at breakfast. It's no wonder MJ is a fashionista. She's from this city.
For friend who will travel here, we walked out the side door of the hotel (passed the elevators and toward the bank) out the back door to the right, through the gates and toward Costa Coffee. Starbucks will be the to the right. There is a little mall there, and at 3F is Belgiannos. It was great Italian. They don't let you bring your own water. So, we ordered cokes and then a bottle of Evian. They said "It's a big bottle". So funny. We drank the entire bottle between the 3 of us. Travis ordered the lasanga and we ordered saffron risotto and a penne pasta for MJ and I. They had a great sauce that was basically tomatoes with different breads. We were very early, and so, the entire wait staff just stood and stared at us. They really liked Meili Joy. She and I wore bows in our hair.
So, that was our 2nd night! MJ slept mainly through the night. But, was up for about 2 hours. Travis is the baby whisperer. She really likes to be held standing up. She doesn't know how to support herself, so she's completely dead weight. Obviously, I want ot hold her; but this is pretty brutal on my back. But, I also think she thinks he is cozier to sleep on. She definitely doesn't fall asleep without being rocked our held standing up. Travis also stands by the window and for some reason looking out over the city really calms her down.
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